Take off your socks? I heard God whisper in my heart.
Do you want me to take my pants off too? I laughed. (It was such an abrupt call to action and I didn't know how skinny'd-down he wanted me.)
And I knew I could keep my pants on!
The ground was holy. The ground was sacred. Barefoot, with my hands holding up my sweats that were too long and loungy because I figured when God asks for us to remove our socks, he might want to see them too! There I was. My poorly manicured toes exposed.
And I felt the Holy Spirit…
I fell to my knees.
And as my knees hit the ground I heard him say, YOU ARE ANOINTED.
I spent some time with that. And I spent some time with God on other things. Like I talked to God about this light inside me that I’m coming to know so much deeper and fully. I imagined myself so consumed with the light that I looked like the Beast of Beauty and the Beast, light not just making its ways out but fighting its way out, transforming my former self.
Then we moved on to talking dreams...
God has brought me into a season where all my childhood dreams are surfacing. I can’t run from them. They are bubbling up slowly like a pepto bismol in water but then also ferociously at the same time, like a volcano about to erupt.
I’ve always had this deep sense that God had plans for me. From my youngest of memories, I saw myself in a village in Africa; before I even knew what villages in Africa looked like. I had dreams of running an orphanage – I practiced by seeking out every baby I could find in the community center after church. I cared little about running around with all the other kids my age. I wanted the babies. They were so squishy and perfect. And my heart felt warm every time I got to hold one. I liked that. The warmth, that is. Time stopped. Loneliness went away. And it was just me and the innocent, baby-powder-smelling baby.
Tonight, as I sat, so aware of these desires, these dreams, I realized how BIG they are (as in, big global issues). That I want to be part of something so big. But then God did something in me...
He reminded me of the small.
For me “to be faithful in the small things, because it is in them that my strength lies.” (I’d have to google that to tell you if it’s a Bible verse or just some insanely profound quote. My guess is, it’s a Mother Teresa gem! But my internet is down. And I know I’ll have to use internet to upload this but that would require me to remember to look this up at a later time. And well... #slacker!
But you guys...Bella.
I have a four year old. And she is one beautiful spirit. And I mess up. A lot. I have a lot to keep working at. I have a lot to do when it comes to seeing her, when it comes to teaching her about her little light, when it comes to equipping her with everything she needs to navigate this beautiful, hard, dark, radiating, awesome and awful world.
She is my small thing.
She is my starting point.
I began to pray that God would help me to see her. Like really seeeee her. That time would like maybe stop when she was around. I know, that I would stop long enough to see her should be my prayer. But truth is, that’s really hard. Like impossible. Like it would take a miracle. It is more likely for God to STOP TIME for me than for me to have the ability to stop, watch and SEE. So for now, I’ll pray God does that whole time-stop trick he did that one time I read about in the Bible.
BUT TO START WITH HER.
I know God’s not asking me to forget about the whole big universe. It’s both. It’s the daily act of little lovings AND it’s being part of the big picture love.
My ground is holy tonight. I think it’s always holy if I but eyes to see it.
Your ground is too. It’s holy. And sacred. And beautiful. And your feet are his. The shoes might be Nike, Gucci or Payless. The socks might be woven by your great-grandmother or purchased from Target or Old Navy. But your ground is holy. And if you are having trouble finding your holy ground, you’re welcome to come join me on my holy ground. Carpet hasn’t been vacuumed for a few weeks but it’ll work just fine!
But stand with me?
Tonight I needed time. God the Father. God the Healer. God the Savior. Sure. I like when God shows up in those needs.
But tonight, I needed a God to remind me that I was anointed. That I am anointed. Meaning, capable. I am capable of bringing incredible beauty to this world if I take time to seek it (or if he just stops it long enough for me to see it.)
And maybe you need that too? Maybe you need to be reminded that you are anointed. That you are capable of being everything God designed you to be today.
SO I say…
Today, may your eyes see differently. May you see those around you as your starting points; not as your last resorts. And then also, may we all continue to be part of his greater story, our deepest desires and our dreams pursued with passion and intensified vigor.